My Formula For A Happy Life
What is it that I DO as the Thinker Coach? Put simply, I help people who feel something in their life is “off”. Out of alignment. In my experience, the number one cause of a sustained feeling of misalignment is when a person’s values and goals are not integrated.
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At one extreme of this spectrum, a person has not even identified their values or goals. They drift passively through life and are always feeling a lack of control. They constantly experience stress and anxiety. They have no idea what is going to happen to them tomorrow, and it terrifies them every day.
A little up the spectrum from this extreme I find people who implicitly have some values. They have some vague notions of long-term goals. Things they daydream about happening 10 or 20 years in the future, if ever. Maybe one or two medium-term goals. Things they hope to get passed in 3 to 5 years. But day-to-day they just follow a routine that never provides any sense of accomplishment or advancement in life.
Now, I want you to go back and re-read the last two paragraphs. I used specific language when profiling these personas. Words and phrases like “drift”, “lack of control”, “anxiety”, “terrifies”, ”notions”, “daydream”, “happening”, “hope”, “routine”, “advancement”. Each of these words and phrases packages a whole host of discussion individually themselves. But for now, I want you to see if any of these descriptors resonate with you.
Further up this spectrum, I find people who have values. Maybe not laser focused in clarity, but they have a pretty good understanding of what they are. If you were having a conversation with them and asked them “What are your values?” They would not have to think about it. They could tell you what they are, though they might feel a little abstract or “out there”. They might not be able to easily explain how these values tie into their life here in the physical world. Similarly, they have goals, and they know what they are. But, there is always a caveat. Their goals, even the ones they have accomplished, never leave them feeling like they are moving in the right direction. Their goals are in constant battle with other aspects of their life. They might not be able to clearly define why any of this is though. Or even to define what that battle is against. They just feel the battle is happening.
You can relentlessly pursue and achieve goals and still be drifting through life.
This may seem obvious, but how many people actually live by it? How many people pursue things in life, not because they chose to, but because the goals were imposed on them by others? How many people pursue things in life that are self-destructive? You only need to look at the heroin addict on the street corner next time to prove that one. Or, for a more insidious example, observe all the overweight people at the grocery store and the things they have in their shopping cart.
These people do not have their values integrated and their goals in alignment. Do you see yourself in any of these people? If so, then you are exactly who I can help the most.
So, how do I solve any of this? Keep reading to find out!